Beach Club Pita

OK folks- time to get real.  We must eat more than bread and chocolate and cupcakes.

I know- it’s not fair.  But trust me- the bridesmaid dress I need to fit into in June will thank me.  And those skinny jeans I swore off will too. 

But you- you’re gorgeous.  Don’t you worry about a thing. 

Just bear with me while I nosh on yummy avocado, healthy sprouts, and lean turkey and sip on a smoothie the color of Oscar the Grouch (recipe coming soon).

Black Bean Soup

There’s no way around. Black bean soup is ugly.

It’s gray-ish brown.  A little chunky.  Just not cute.

However, it’s all a ploy.  Because black bean soup is fantastic.  If you’ve never had it (or have been too scared to try since it obviously isn’t the prettiest girl at the prom), then you’re missing out.  It’s almost like a very beany, creamy vegetarian chili. 

 Get on the ugly soup wagon- it delicious.

Fake Out Mexican Pot Pies

Dear pot pies of the world-


I'm sorry I never gave you a fighting chance.  I'm sorry I never had fond memories of you as a child.  For all I knew, you used to live in the freezer.  I would pop you in the microwave and you would come out bland and soggy and hot as lava.  Good bye taste buds. 

I'm sorry I resisted you for so long.  I never knew how delicious you could be.  That you could have depth and flavor but still be crazy easy to make. 

And if you see him, could you please tell your friend frozen puff pastry that I think I love him? He kinda rocks.

Love,
Sarah


Note for the pot pie aficionado out there, be kind to this dish.  It's not a true pot pie like you know and love.  It's more of a super thick, creamy soup topped with an awesome puff pastry topper.  Just go with it- it's delicious, no matter what you call it.

Broccoli Cheddar Potato Soup

In my world, soup solves all problems.

Don't know where to go for lunch.  Easy- hit up Panera for veggie soup in a bread bowl.
Not feeling well.  Nothing beats chicken noodle with crackers.
Gross, cold winter outside. Hello beef and sweet potato stew.
Don't know what to make for dinner. Broccoli Cheddar Potato to the rescue.

 

Plus, who doesn't love a reason to get out your immersion blender.  I always feel so "food network-y" whenever I use mine (I know- I'm a weirdo)

Breakfast Week Finale: Monkey Bread

I'm a culinary cheat.  I use boxed cake mixes.  I buy those jars of minced garlic.  I've never cook with dried beans- canned is totes the way to go.

And I make deceivingly easy breakfast casseroles with refrigerated biscuits.  Generic brand no less.

Its all the awesomeness of a cinnamon roll without actually having to make dough, wait for it to rise, roll, cut, bake, etc..... Toss biscuit pieces in cinnamon-sugar.  Douse with melted butter and more sugar.  Bake. Devour.

Yep- cheating is delicious.

Breakfast Week Kickoff: Apple-Cranberry Pecan Muffins

Your 10th grade Health teacher told you over and over.  Your mom yelled it at you as you ran out the door late for school.  Your stomach not-so-kindly reminds you at about 9:00 in the morning....

"Don't forget breakfast! It's the most important meal of the day!"

Yeah yeah yeah......I admit- I spent the first 23 years of my life completing ignoring that advice.  I'm a pro at timing my mornings so precisely that I now exactly what time I have to wake up in order to squeeze in a shower, blow dry my hair, throw on some mascara, and run out the door to get to work on time.

However, being starving, staring a a computer screen with 3 hours til lunch to go is no bueno.  Plus your co-workers begin looking at you funny when they can hear your stomach rumble all morning over the cubicle walls (Sorry guys.....)

So now a box of instant oatmeal permanently resides in my file cabinet and every morning I have a hot, yummy, filing breakfast that holds me over until lunch.  I have seen the light! And I'm hoping you will too :)

I know- most people would consider oatmeal every morning deathly boring.  So this week, we're going to branch out.   I got muffins and bagels and cinnamon-sugar goodness coming your way.  Let's do this.  First up: Hearty, fruity, nutty muffins- the perfect grab-and-go breakfast.

Rotini with Artichokes & Roasted Tomato

I'm a sucker for bread. Even better: cheese topped bread. Even better than that: cheesy, tomato-y, garlic-y, artichoke-y bread.  I saw this bread and fell in love.

But I couldn't bring myself to make it.  Remember that whole resolutions thing? Yeah....me too. Which means I have to keep my dinners pretty healthy in order to enjoy the cookies and cakes and whatever other butter-flour-sugar monstrosities I bake up.

So I traded the french bread for whole wheat pasta and added some roasted tomatoes.  Get all the awesomeness of cheesy artichoke bread in a fantabulous pasta dinner. I'm a new years resolution genius!

Jalapeno Popper Sliders

I try to eat healthy.  Emphasis on try. My theory, if I'm a good girl and eat my fruits and veggies and not a ton of crap for breakfast, lunch and dinner, then I can indulge a little bit. Hence the two bags of Dove chocolate currently in my pantry. 

However, I'm also the type of girl that would eat the TGI Friday's sampler platter for a meal.  Potato skins AND mozzarella sticks AND jalapeno poppers AND hamburger sliders?  Works for me!

So when I saw this burger, I knew it was love at first sight.  You mean I not only get a burger (I've gone on about my love of sandwiches here, and burgers are like the sandwich's awesome uncle) but that burger gets loaded up like a jalapeno popper.  Sign me up.

And these burgers- holy crap.  Honestly, one of the best I've EVER had. EVER.  Like really, E.V.E.R.


The patties themselves are nothing special.  It's all in the toppings.  The most amazing cream cheese mixture you've ever experienced.  I'm for serious.  I almost ran out and bought bagels just to have something else to smother this amazing spread on.  Plus sharp cheddar and jalapenos get to join the party.  How is that not a winner?? 

And you don't need a snazzy grill or cooperating weather- you can make them inside.  Oh George, how I love you. (Me and my George Foreman grill are on a first name basis)

And you can't have burgers without fries.  Those lovely, crispy, golden brown delights are coming up on Friday :)

"Frito Pie" Buffalo Chicken Chili

No offense to the fantastic lunch ladies at Jane Addams Elementary, but their culinary creations were never the best.  

Square, tasteless, luke warm pizza? Not my fave.  BBQ Ribber (the school lunch version of a McRib)? Not even sure what meat it was made of..... And don't even get me started on chicken nuggets that you could bounce off your tray....

However, there was one meal they made that I absolutely loved and was every kid's favorite. Taco in a Bag. Let me repeat- Taco. In. A. Bag.  Need I say more?

Wait? You don't know what I'm talking about? You've never experienced a snack size bag of Nacho Cheesier Doritos filled with taco meat, lettuce and cheese? I'm so sorry- you must've had a tragic childhood.

Apparently there's another version of this found in gas stations across the South called a Frito Pie. Similar concept: Fritos + chili + cheese.  Well, this chili is the result if Taco in a Bag met a Frito Pie, fell in love and had a Chicken Chili Baby.

Ok- I realize that probably does sound too amazing, but you have to trust me- it'll knock your socks off.  Soooo good.  Also, perfect for any Superbowl parties you may have coming up :)

Roasted Veggie Mexican Lasagna

OK- so sorry for wrecking all your hopes and dreams and New Years resolutions with that last post.  That was very irresponsible of me. My bad.....

So I'm here to make amends.  These amends include a plethora of roasted veggies, salsa, and fresh spinach.

Roasted to ridiculous deliciousness.

Layered with tortillas and cheese (reduced-fat, I promise).  And topped with sour cream (again- I went with light. See, everything's resolution friendly. I SWEAR)

Beef & Sweet Potato Stew

 

After weeks of cookies and cupcakes and truffles and frosting and (a failed attempt at) brownies, sometimes you just want good ol’ red meat.

And sweet potatoes.

And carrots and onions and mushrooms and garlic.

And beer. DEFINITELY beer.

Then you pour it all over rice (ok- I may have skipped a few steps….but you get the idea). 

And then, with your hair a hot mess and a slight dusting of flour on your slippers (yes I wear slippers around my apartment. Yes, I’m actually 80 years old and go by Myrtle), you trek over to your couch and put on the greatest show ever.  Fear Factor.

Not kidding- have you seen it since it’s come back?  It’s ridic.  I can’t look away.  Part of me wants to be Joe Rogan when I grow up just so I can make people do the insane things on the show. 

Ahh…guilty pleasures….

Spicy Sausage Hot Pockets

I have a really weird pet peeve.  I hate warm food.  I want my food piping hot.  Not like “omg-just-burned-all-my-tastebuds-and-now-my-tongue-is-numb” hot, but a “pleasant- hasn’t-been-sitting-out-for-20-minutes” hot.

It’s one of the reasons I strongly dislike eating at buffets.  Everything’s just lukewarm (let alone swarming in everyone else’s everything….yuk).   It’s also why I really don’t eat leftovers.  I’m too lazy to reheat things in the oven and too poor to buy a toaster oven.  Therefore everything goes in the microwave- which then fries everything bone dry and gross before it gets hot enough for my weird pet peeve to not be bothered.

Yes, it’s one of my many bizarre quirks…..

But these stuffed pockets (can’t call them Hot Pockets….I’ll get sued. Or something like that) totally rock my face off.  Not only do they taste awesome, they stay super toasty for a long time. So when you’re done with your first and go back for your second (and maybe an additional half after that….), they’re still lovely and hot and not needing that dreaded microwave re-heat.  I wish I could comment on their left over potential, but I have a very sneaky dog who thoroughly enjoys food stupidly left on my living room ottoman…..    

 

These were so good, I think I'm going to remake them later this week stuffed with ham and cheese and maybe some broccoli. The possibilities are endless :)

Do you have any strange food quirks?